THE SECRETS

The visit

I had to break the silence after so many times of frequenting the hospital for the treatment of high blood pressure. Our church general overseer had called me several times to come see him but I have always given excuses. On this day, daddy came himself with his wife to our family house. My parents returned from church about an hour before their arrival but as for me, I didn’t go to church because my health didn’t permit me. This contributed to their decision to come see me that evening.

After welcoming them in and exchanging the regular pleasantries, my mum offered them drinks but they politely turned it down, saying they were on a fast and they would be on their way to the District soon. Without wasting more time, Daddy looked keenly at me and said; Olufunmilayo, are you happy about your frequent visits to the hospital?.

At that instant, I knew they had come for me and there was no escaping this time. I shook my head to say I wasn’t happy about it. Daddy continued;

“I know you can’t be and even your parents are not happy too. You are the only one they have and your health issue is beginning to affect theirs too. I could have left you and not have been here at all today but the Holyspirit won’t let me rest. Each time I decide to pray for you and even sometimes when I intend praying for other things, I always have this strong knowing within me that the first step in restoring your health is to let go of the grudges in your heart.

As he mentioned that, my heart raced and my mouth felt so dry. Big mummy (G.O’s wife) must have seen the change in my countenance and the way my body was beginning to shiver, because she came close to me and embraced me to calm me down. I could feel the warmth in her embrace and I began to cry.

I have done so much trying to hide these things and I have always escaped the questions people ask when I switch to moody and gloomy modes. There I was, in the embrace of Big mummy, in the presence of daddy and with my parents also present, shaking uncontrollably. It was that moment I knew beyond doubts that their presence was more than just a surface show of concern. It was the Holyspirit working things out.

Dare to speak it all out

After a while, Big mummy whispered into my ears; “My darling, I personally know it is far from being easy and I have been through different phases of forgiving those that could do anything to kill me if they had the chance. So I know it’s a huge one for you, but dare to speak out my darling, and you’ll see how easily the heaviness you’re living with will evaporate”

I loved the way Big mummy said I should dare to speak out and that was exactly what I did. As I opened my mouth to speak, the shaking ceased and I was able to communicate better. Below is the details of all that happened as I narrated to them.

Daddy, you see, I already decided I was not going to say anything about it. It has to be the torture I went through in a church I attended while in school went through a lot in that church and I don’t even know if I can forgive them.
There was a particular sister who we called sister Shola. This sister had been a very sweet sister or should I say I always thought she was a sweet sister until the whole problem started.

The beginning

It all began on a Sunday just like this one. Hmmmmm, every time I remember the events of that day I wish I had stayed back home. The day started on a very Joyful mode for me and I kept on singing and shouting Hallelujah even as I prepared for church. It was the first Sunday of a new month and has been declared a Thanksgiving day for us. I already started my Thanksgiving in my bedroom and I had a strong determination not to permit anything that can spoil my sweet Joyful mode that day and since I didn’t have a roommate I danced around freely without any worries of disturbing anyone.

I have always fasted to church on Sundays. Though if I’m going to be honest I’ll say most times I have to go to church without eating because I always wake up late and won’t meet up if I decided to cook. Anyways, from Saturday night I already knew this particular Sunday was going to be different because I had remnant from the potato porridge I made and it would take less than 10 minutes to warm it up that I may eat before going to church.

As I danced around the room, arranging my bag for church, I felt a disturbance in my tummy and I knew what that meant. I hurried to the toilet to relief myself. After doing my business, I came back into the bedroom, checked the time and discovered I still had an hour till the time the church bus will arrive and that gave me great Joy. Even if I had wanted to ignore the temptations to eat that morning, after going to empty my bowels, it was important I did a re-fill. I set my porridge on low heat to warm up while I took my bath. The whole preparation took me about 45 minutes including the time spent on food.

Finally, I checked myself out in a mirror admiring myself in the new wine dress my sister just sent, I sprayed some perfume till I was satisfied and sure I could call the attention of Bro Kenneth in church. Bro Kenneth is the head of transport team and everyone knows him for his discipline and strictness with time, but he rarely drives the bus coming to my area. Howbeit, he had given instructions to his teammates not to wait for anyone who’s yet to get to the busstop. Since I had few minutes to get to the busstop, I hurried to the busstop. I saw the bus already on the move and I increased my pace and waved the driver down. Well, he stopped, the very strict bro Kenneth actually stopped to pick me up.

A question for Bro Kenneth

Immediately I got on the bus and said my good morning greetings to a few people that I could reach, I saw my close friend Tolani already in the bus. I had something very important to share with her and so I gave her a signal to check her phone. I had dropped messages for her which read; “Tola, did you see what just happened? the almighty Bro Kenneth actually stopped the bus just for me to get in”. Tolani had been the one having to bear the stories of my dreams about getting married to someone as spiritual and handsome as bro Kenneth and she had always reminded me to stop dreaming and forget about him but I couldn’t. I suspected Tolani woke up on the wrong side of the bed because instead of getting a reply to my message, she shouted out loud “Bro Kenneth must really like sis Funmi to have stopped the bus for her o”.

I couldn’t believe my ears and I wished he didn’t hear what she said, but he did and replied “I only have rules against waiting for someone who is yet to get to the busstop ma’am and sis Funmi managed to meet up ma’am , we didn’t have to wait”.

My hands and legs felt sweaty as I sent another message to Tola asking her why she did that and she said “So you won’t start having unnecessary hopes thinking he stopped because it was you. He would have done same for any other person, even if it was a brother”.

I knew Tolani was right but I chose to believe otherwise and hope for the best.

Fast forward to the start of service, Sister Shola handled our Sunday school class that day and I really enjoyed every bit of it as usual. She’s got the charisma, fluency and a wide knowledge about a lot of things and I really loved her for those features. I remember many times I have had to picture myself relate well and speak publicly like she does. I even tried getting close to her at some point so just maybe the grace can rub on me but she was always busy and I always had to leave the church early with the first returning bus, so there was no opportunity to meet to talk.

After the Sunday school, it was time for praise and worship. Just as the praises session started, I felt that disturbance in my tummy, the same one I had felt before leaving the house. I thought I could hold it in but all techniques to hold it in failed and I had balls of sweat already formed on my forehead even in the fully air-conditioned atmosphere. I stopped trying to hold it back and I took off to the restroom.

Voices behind the door

As I was about to come out of the space I had chosen to help myself, I heard footsteps and I froze. I wasn’t scared but I was shy and I remained on the same spot, trying to do a rehearsal in my head of how I was going to walk out. Not long after, I heard a voice I had grown to recognize overtime, laughing and saying “Babe, have you seen your sister in the Lord’s dressing today? I don’t know who or what is always giving her inspiration to dress like that”, it was sister Shola’s voice and before the other person replied I already guessed it was Vicky, her church baby. The fragrance of Victoria’s perfume was like her signature and I had spent enough time with her as her course mate that I could identify the scent even in my sleep.

My guess was right, I confirmed it when I heard her response to sister Shola’s question.

“Ehnehn that reminds me. Just on Wednesday, I overheard some brothers saying something about Bro Kenneth going to meet the relationship committee on her matter.”

I was about to step out, but at the mention of bro Kenneth, curiosity held me back.

Ehn? Which Kenneth? Same Ken?
“Yes now, I don’t even know what he sees in that Juliet lady. She can’t even express herself well without making mistakes. And the dressing, God! Let’s just leave that out of it”.

Wow, this is unbelievable!. I actually thought Ken was going to come for me though. Infact, I’m sure he had his eyes on me. Someone must have changed his mind.
Really? Well, I know he came close to you but I thought you didn’t find him attractive or so.

No, it’s not like I didn’t find him attractive. What is there about him not to love? He’s smart, he’s handsome, he’s spiritual and cool. I just didn’t want him to feel like I’m so cheap and already falling for him and all, that’s why I was kind of rude to him. Even at that I’m sure he still wants to be with me though. Someone must have influenced him to go for that boring girl. And that someone is your pastor’s wife, no doubts.

“Hmmmm, are you sure?”

Yes now, she knows if he is in a relationship with me, she won’t be able to control him and get him to do things for her like she’s used to because I won’t even permit it. And ofcourse she’s always feeling oppressed whenever she sees me. Haven’t you noticed how she tries to copy my styles and even asks to know the perfume I’m using?

Yeeeeeees, that’s true. There’s a way she looks at you anytime you are ministering. This look of jealousy.

All the while, they were communicating in hushed tones and I remained as quiet and still as possible. I was still in shock of what just got into my ears and my mouth was still wide open when I heard Victoria’s voice again.

“Momma, this gele I just tied for you is ten thousand naira o. But I won’t collect the money yet, after you get me a daddy, I will send him the bill of all these beautification I’m giving you now.”

Don’t worry, I will get Ken back. I’ll give you a very handsome daddy. You just keep calm and watch.
I heard footsteps getting closer as sister Shola said; “Wo, let me quickly ease myself before we go back”.

She tried opening the door to the same space I was in but I had locked it from behind.

Who is there, who is there?

“Eiiii, so someone has been listening to us, Jesus”, Victoria said and I could sense the shock in her voice.
After a few more bangs with no response from me, they stepped out.

The confidence of the innocent

I knew I had to go out whether I liked it or not because I didn’t want to miss service but that also meant that those ladies will know it was me in the toilet. Anyway, I decided to follow my mum’s saying that only the guilty should be afraid and since I wasn’t guilty I came out, readjusted my dress well and stepped into the auditorium in style. Sister Shola had gone to sit with other ministers in the front row and I saw Victoria looking towards the entrance and as I stepped in, I could feel Victoria’s eyes on me but I didn’t care. They were in the wrong and the guilt should be theirs not mine.
The service was still on but I couldn’t focus, I was trying to get past the disappointment I felt from knowing that bro Kenneth would be off the market soon and not with me but I couldn’t take away the sharp chest pain it caused me. Above that was the thought of how pastor Mrs and sister Shola have both been faking love and respect for each other. I kept on asking myself, if it could really be true that pastor Mrs also doesn’t like sister Shola?.
After pastor Mrs prayed over the offering, she invited sister Shola to give the announcement and they both hugged and smiled like nothing was wrong. I was simply in awe!. As sister Shola took the mic,I tried searching the face of pastor Mrs for the jealousy Victoria mentioned but I couldn’t place it.
At the end of service, Victoria was already standing next to me as we said the closing prayers. I knew she was standing right there but I ignored her, knelt down and said a quick prayer for my week. As I stood up to go, she stopped me and said we needed to talk.

“Vicky, please I’ll prefer you call me on phone or drop a message, the bus is leaving and I need to go right now!” I said. And without waiting for her response I walked quickly to catch the bus.

 

 

To be continued…….

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Mega love….