LOST

Walking and moving yet not making progress.
The doors unending and each leading nowhere.
How did I get here?
I only came to take a shower and now I’m lost.
Trying to remember how it all began.
My worries veiling my memories
“You need to know how it started to know how to find your way”
That was the voice in my head.

As I tried to get it all back, my head ached and the tears won’t stop flowing.

Ella had invited me to go for a youth camp with her
I didn’t turn her down, I accepted the invitation and went with her to the camp ground.
We were all given beds and all told to rest in the same large hall we would use for our meetings.
It was like a Church and I can’t remember if I saw a name on the building when we arrived.
The brothers and sisters all slept in the same hall but different ends of the hall.
Very tired from the stress of traveling down from school and the registration.
I had slept immediately I got a good space for my bed.
The tap on my back took me from Dreamland to reality.

“Wake up and go take your bath Debbie, if you delay you might not get a chance to bath this morning”
Looked up to see a clean and dressed Ella.
The weather was cold and it was still very early in the morning.
I collected the blue bucket from Ella.
In a camp out like that, a bucket to bath is a great treasure.
The bathroom was in another building apart from the long hall.
I walked lazily into the building, I joined the queue to fetch water.
It was my turn and I turned on the tap control.

As I waited by my bucket,I looked around and saw him.
He was walking out of the door with the tag “Gents”
He saw me, I’m sure he did.
But he simply looked at me briefly and walked away.
Humming a song even as he walked off
Like I didn’t matter to him at all
Yes, he’s married now.
But not even an “Hello”? I watched him as he walked off.

A replay of my history with him flashed through my mind.
He was so close, he proposed marriage to me
I declined in a very harsh way and I was happy about it
Now he’s happily married and I am in a relationship
But each time I see his picture with his wife, I’m troubled
Whether it’s a feeling of jealousy or a feeling of regret
I was yet to figure out.
It was the first time I would see him physically after his wedding
It was a feeling of guilt.
I really hurt him by my actions and must have put him through emotional pains.
I wanted to say something but the guilt was so heavy on me.
Frozen at a spot and unable to say a word.

“Water has stopped running!” sounded a voice from somewhere in the building.
I was called out of my transfixed state.
Looked around me to get my bearing.
Ella’s blue bucket was gone and of course with the water in it.
Ella won’t be happy with me if I didn’t find her blue bucket.
I started searching and asking.
With no response from anyone, I opened the first door with the tag “ladies”.
I looked around and didn’t find it. I saw another door and I went in.

I found myself in front of two storey buildings.
I saw some well dressed ladies, walking out of the buildings.
Moving closer to the buildings, I saw the inscriptions on the walls.
“Agape Hostel” on the one on my right.
“Joy Hostel” on the one on my left.
“Oh, these are hostels?. Why didn’t we get a chance to stay in the hostel too.”
“Maybe because we arrived late” I replied myself.
I went into the female hostels and headed straight to their bathroom in search of my blue bucket.
I heard the hostel matrons giving warning instructions to lock up the hostels.

Ella must have been waiting for my return.
But I couldn’t go back to her without her bucket.
There was no water, there was no bucket.
And I was so sweaty from my long search,
Then, I remembered I had to take my bath before going back to the hall

I was teary and worried at that point.
Frustration already crawling in. I finally decided to go back anyway.
With each attempt to return, I drew closer to confusion.
Doors I didn’t realize were there before, were now before and around me.
The feeling of being lost overwhelmed me
I ignored the feeling and started trying each door.
Opening doors and carefully closing them to leave them as I met them.
“The next door should be the one that leads out” I kept on telling myself.

I lost all my strength and couldn’t move again.
Fell to the ground and finally said to myself;

Walking and moving yet not making progress.
The doors unending and each leading nowhere.
How did I get here?
I only came to take a shower and now I’m lost.
I bowed my head in my confused state and in hope for a rescue.
In my lost state I heard Ella’s voice;

“Debbie!!! wake up!.Wake up and go take your bath Debbie, if you delay you might not get a chance to bath this morning”.
With my head still bowed in complete tiredness I asked myself;
“Was that not the same voice and words that woke me up at the start of today?
Am I dreaming?”

“Debbie now, I will leave you o!”

Ella pulled me up to face her and then I opened my eyes to see her holding the same blue bucket but still in the clothes she wore the night before.

“You have not had a bath, have you?” I asked
“Why will I go without you?
“Jesus! Debbie have you been crying?” Ella exclaimed.
I felt my face and realized the tears in my dream didn’t end in the dream.
“I had a dream Ella, a very scary one” I replied.

I narrated my dream to Ella and she said;
Dear Debbie, we are grateful to God for his love towards us to grant unto us revelations to put us on track. Especially in ways that’ll look as serious as this is looking to you.
As you narrated your revelation, I got some messages from it which I’ll like you to pay attention to.

The message

–Firstly, You see, most of us have some things in our past that needs to be settled, in the place of prayers and some might even need restitution. Some of these past experiences, if not properly dealt with will always show up in our present and cause distractions.

Oh, and you said yourself that your thought pattern in the revelation was how the bucket is likened to a great asset. Then it’s safe to say the distraction by your past affairs that you are yet to free yourself from made you lose the treasure of the present. When you identify your past actions that troubles your heart and takes away your peace. It needs amendments and you need to go to the father for directions and wisdom to settle it all.
Restitution is an important part of repentance you know, and the peace of mind you get after doing it cannot be overemphasized. It is the work of the Holyspirit to bring to our remembrance all that needs to be corrected for us to have a clear conscience, and that I think he has done for you now.

Psalms 139:23-24
[23]Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
[24]And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

–Secondly, after you lost focus and lost the bucket, you decided to go search for it yourself right?. I don’t know what understanding you have received or that which you will receive about it but as I listened to you, I am reminded of the times when we make mistakes and sometimes lose the opportunities that God brings our way due to carelessness and distractions. Instead of going to report ourselves to God, we try to find ways to salvage it ourselves.

Even when things are getting out of hands and when we ought to run to God, we are still so adamant and go on trying to deal with it logically and with our intellect. The end of these things will always be frustration and confusion.

In the real sense, there’s more of this type of bucket in a store there and I can always get another for you even if it really happens in reality, you don’t know that, do you?. So you can imagine how that God has another more than enough to restore those things we have lost carelessly and by distractions. All we need to do is to return before it is too late.

These are the two things I think I got as you shared the vision with me. However, I won’t forget to add this, that you who had the vision must devote time to enquire of the Lord.

END NOTES

– As we grow spiritually and make progress, the Holyspirit will bring to our remembrance some of the wrongs we did in the past and we may feel so burdened and lose focus. It’s a call for restitution to obtain a clear conscience.
– Many are lost and weary. Buried in shame and not knowing how to return to the father. A humble prayer of sincerity will help you to remember that the father loves you still and he will rescue you out of that confused state.
Luke 19:10
[10]For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.