JANINA 3

Something Different

Dr (Mrs) George looked up at me again from her system, apologized for keeping me waiting and asked that I give her few minutes to wrap up the work. I was staring at this beautiful woman and the gentle smile she wore on her face as she worked. I was amazed at her warm reception and how nice she was to have apologized for keeping me waiting and then I remembered the stories I have heard of how she had helped so many students and held the position of not only our level adviser but also the counselor for the department.

I couldn’t explain the peace I felt as I sat in her office and all of a sudden I was wishing I had met her earlier. I remembered the day she tried to talk to me after one of our examinations and how I had promised to come see her in her office but never did until this day that I sat before her without being forced.

“Jaiyeola!” in Dr (Mrs) George’s voice what woke me from the peaceful sleep I was having with my head on her table. I raised my head immediately.

“I’m so sorry, I haven’t gotten any good sleep for about a month now” I quickly apologized as I checked my wrist watch and discovered I had slept for two hours without pills. I was beginning to think there must be something beyond normal with this woman and her office. She had moved closer to me, sitting on the table next to where my head had been resting and as I up at her smiling face, I wondered how long she had been there before deciding to call my name.

“I am sorry for disturbing your sleep dear. But it’s almost 3pm, I’ll need to go pick my kids from school and I won’t want your coming to be a waste”

How would I have explained to her that being able to sleep so peacefully for two hours without using any pills was more than enough to say I didn’t waste my time?. I couldn’t get my eyes off her as she spoke with calmness. And there was just this charm that I couldn’t resist. She was waiting for me to state the reason why I had come but instead tears filled my eyes and all I could say was “I need help”. Those were the words I kept on repeating as uncontrollable tears flowed down my face.

A mother In another woman

I still remember vividly how Dr(Mrs) pulled me close and gave me a warm hug. We remained like that for minutes and she didn’t say a word. I continued crying and stained her clothes with my makeup flowing down with the tears and she didn’t complain. I felt so safe and I guess that’s why the first thing I said when I had pulled myself together was “mummy”. Yes I called her mummy because the safety I felt in her embrace was similar to how I felt when I was six. My mum had gone to work and I was home alone. All of a sudden I heard gunshots and I was very scared and couldn’t move to lock the door with it’s key. Minutes later I heard a knock on the door and I was too frightened to go open it. The door opened and it was my mummy. She locked the door quickly and pulled me to herself.

And so with that feeling in Dr(Mrs) embrace I forgot about the present and called her my mummy. Before I could apologize for the mistake, she kindly replied “Yes dear” and I let it slide.

She cleaned my messed up face with a clean handkerchief from her bag and gave me tissue for my nose. She looked at me and said “I perceive this is going to be a long evening, I better put a call through to someone to pick up those kids” and she placed the call.
Dr(Mrs) got me a bottle of water from her office fridge and sat back next to me to listen to my plight. I took three gulps of water and poured everything out to her without lies. I felt very relieved after that and took water again after the long talk.

“You see now that I fit in a description of shame than of Fame” I concluded.

The true life sermon

She smiled at me and gave the speech that changed my life forever.

“I’ll like you to understand first that I have heard so much about you from different sources, lecturers inclusive. But, I choose to see the good side of all things first and see if we can use that to correct the wrong. That being said, I must say you should be grateful to God that it didn’t take you too long to realize that you need help.
It wasn’t so easy for me. Probably because I was once saved before falling into darkness again. And you know that illustration of a demon after leaving an individual, and coming back to see his former abode swept clean without any new inhabitant and goes to gather seven others like himself to torment that individual. Yes, it was more like that for me.

I had just accepted Jesus as a young teenage girl and I got my admission letter few weeks after that experience. I told myself I was going to be a good girl in school and make my parents proud. But reverse was the case. It started from me cutting down my prayer time and Bible study hours because I needed to read to make good grades. The first semester I spent in school was still fair enough, I still read few verses of the bible, though in a rush and still did quick morning prayers before leaving for school each day.

The second semester was the transition time. I was the only church girl of five female friends and I was beginning to feel intimidated by their dress sense, their financial status and how they mingled with the big boys. And soon I forgot all about my decision to be a good girl.

I still went to church and sometimes I felt touched by the messages and try to set myself straight but couldn’t. I stopped going to church when I caught one of my numerous boyfriends then with a lady. The link this had with my church going was that the lady I met him with was a very respected sister in our church, one who I almost met to help me after one of the touching messages. After that experience, I had my mindset on “No one is perfect and all those so-called believers are just pretenders” and I wasn’t going to live my life in pretence and hypocrisy so I stopped going to church and always stopped anyone coming to preach Jesus to me even before they started.

Mother ministry

I was enjoying life, or so I believed. My parents knew God and they both have been ministers in Church since I grew up to recognize them and know good and bad, but my dear, the salvation of your parents isn’t enough to save you. Dad left us when I was in my penultimate year and I had to go home after a long time.

It was when I went home for the burial my mum saw me and started crying. We all thought she was still being emotional about her late husband and my elder brothers were with her to console her. But the real reason this mother was crying and shedding tears that day was that her precious one and only daughter had left every bit of morals and was an opposite of what a mother would have called her pride. Even though I tried to select good clothes to cover myself because I was traveling home, she saw beyond the disguise and said “I have not only lost my husband, now I know I have lost my daughter too”

I didn’t understand what she was saying and I went close to her but she stood up and said “You need to see the light” and she went to her room. Each day I spent in that house till the day of the burial and after, my mum would come into my room and pray over me for hours even in her weak and broken state. I thought on those nights that this religious woman should stop disturbing my sleep and leave me alone, the only reason I didn’t stop her was because I knew she was mourning and was probably being traumatized.

I returned to school to meet the shock of my life. I had planned to fight my friends for not reaching out to me to ask how I was fairing and to ask why their numbers were not going through.”

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At this point Dr(Mrs) couldn’t control the tears that had gathered in her eyes from flowing down as she continued her story. I could see her vibrating and I had to hold her to calm her down.

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“Janina dear, I was told… I was told my friends had gone for a night party and were involved in an accident with no survival. It happened the same day I traveled, and as I heard the news, I remembered how I said I would go with them that day and travel home the next day, “Dad was gone and we had to move on anyway,I wasn’t going to allow anything spoil my happiness” so I thought. I was selecting my outfit for the night when mum called and said she wanted me home that day. That one call was my saving grace Janina. I would have been long forgotten and destroyed.

I couldn’t stay in the room because I felt the spirits of my friends were present and so I traveled back home immediately. I ran to my mother and just like you were crying few minutes ago all I could say in tears was “Help me!”.

My mum prayed with me and explained to me that Jesus loved me(he still loves me) and was interested in me. She didn’t have to say so much before I fell flat on the floor and confessed I was ready to change my ways. This was after four abortions, so many months of addiction to alcohol and drugs, many nights of immorality and regular criticism of ministers of God, to mention a few.

I couldn’t stop thinking of the death of my friends and one question I had on my mind was “Is that really the end?, after death here on earth, is that really the end or there’s something more?” salvation gained root when after spending a week at home, I got the information about the service of songs for Debby my favorite of our clique. I didn’t want to go but mum promised to go with me and told me I had to go pay my last respect.

The answer

Debby’s parents didn’t know me, only her younger sister Precious who had come for visits in school knew me and she was the one who called me. I sat quietly and listened to the message that day. It was so different and pierced deeply into my heart. The preacher said so many things but one thing that influenced me was the question “the death here on earth is either an exit from here into eternal life or an exit from here into eternal damnation, choose Jesus today and you shall have eternal life”.

There I got my answer and I said Yes to Jesus. Since that day, it has been one transformation to another, helping my messed up life and reshaping me into who I am today. My academics was brought back to a good point, my health was restored, I went back to church and I had opportunity to meet with people who loved me without discrimination and helped me get my confidence back.
Janina, there’s no other help I can offer to you asides Jesus.

It is as simple as it sounds, just believe, let go and let him into your heart and watch all things take shape in a way you could never have imagined”

A trial to convince J

At the end of her story, I looked at her and said “I’ve always thought I was beyond repair and was going to end it all someday anyway, but you have given me a ray of hope again, I will try this Jesus therapy and see where it leads”
A trial truly is what you need to convince you that Jesus works wonders. It’s been eight years after that evening talk with Dr(Mrs) George and that therapy has done more than I could ever imagine just has she said and still works wonders till now.

Happily ever after

I am now a married woman, to a very loving man of God who is staring lovingly at me even as I write this story and blessed with a beautiful daughter resting peacefully on her Daddy’s chest as I write.

Before I drop my pen, I will give you the gist of my restitution with Diana and Jude. I reached Diana on call and apologized for how I treated her. She forgave me because just like me, She had met Jesus. In her words “You did me a favor J, the heartbreak made me seek God and I can only be grateful for all and I forgive you dearest, that’s how to be a true daughter of God”.
Diana has remained the dearest female friend to my heart till date and the only reason we have not seen in person after that day is because she got a divinely orchestrated opportunity to study abroad. She’s happily married now too and has been asking that I come over on vacation. I haven’t told her yet, but my darling husband has agreed to the vacation idea and we’ll be traveling to see D! and her family.

Jude on his part didn’t give me any attention still and I did the only thing that crossed my mind. It brings me joy each time I remember. I know how well he desired academic excellence and so I told Dr(Mrs) to organize a seminar on academic excellence and give him an invitation to oversee the program. Well, the seminar was an opportunity to reach lives and win souls ofcourse and the leader who happened to be Jude was sure the first partaker of the blessing. We became friends and yes, I told him I got an Instruction to write a story about my school life experience and he permitted me to Include his name.

I would have been a bad daughter if I didn’t take the great Light I had received to my own mother. I preached to mum and as the Holyspirit does when it’s time, she gave her life to Christ and we all lived happily ever after.

Jaiyeola Janina……………..

End Notes

So many lessons to learn here, I will drop some and hope you will help me see the others and drop them in the comments box.

1. Sharing a testimony should not be out a wrong motive of pride or to intimidate others like Janina’s mum in Part one.
2. Be careful what drives you, Janina was driven by her will to payback Diana’s betrayal and that influenced her choice of school and some other things. Get the right drive and do Great things.
3. Just like Janina’s mum and Dad’s separation and Mrs Jaiyeola’s search for affection elsewhere, a broken marriage can lead to a neglect of the children which in turn hinders the appropriate lessons that should be received from parents. Pray for children affected by broken homes and if you’re still single, seek God that you may to marry wrong.
4. The way to control sexual drive is not to wake up the hormones at all, because a start of it asks for another and another and another till it becomes an addiction. Flee from all appearance of youthful lust that you may save yourself from that bondage.
5. Janina wanted to change her department to escape the shame but I think she’ld have still carried her shame even to the new department anyway because it was not a physical issue and running to another department was not the real solution. Sometimes the reason we are still being hunted by some challenges is because we have been using the wrong corrective measures.
6. The power of peer pressure can’t be overemphasized. Young Dr(Mrs) chose to follow God but her association dissociated her from God and she went haywire.
7. Oh dear christian, especially ministers and fellowship executives, how hurtful it is to know that you who should help others out of immorality is the king/queen of impure actions. Quit the pretence, seek help and flee from immorality.
8. The salvation of one’s parents can not be one’s salvation ofcourse, but dear christian parents you can help us to know Jesus by spending time with us to share the word with us and not assume that we know God just because we follow you to church. And most importantly, pray for us and intercede that our souls be saved and the hands of devil be removed from the control of our lives.
9. Death on earth is either an exit into an eternal life or an exit from here into eternal damnation. Never believe anyone who tells you all is over at the point of death here on earth.
10. No matter how messed up your life is, it is not beyond repair. Have you tried the Jesus therapy? Try him today. Oh yes! He loves you still, your mistakes notwithstanding.
11. Repentance calls for restitution. If there are things you did in the past and now you’re saved, you think the Holyspirit is Instructing you to rectify. Go for restitution, it might look like it won’t be easy, but I tell you dearly beloved, the Joy that comes after obedience to a call for restitution is beyond imagination.

Let the other lessons Keep coming in.
Let the corrections be taken and let’s continue on Faithplane, a journey through faithway.
Mega love.